Every line below traces back to something one of your clients actually said. The angle is one specific sentence, said twice, weeks apart, by two different women.
Sharon, minute one of her call: "Sometimes it can be overwhelming… I get really anxious because I want to do it right."
A different client, weeks later, about starting a workshop she'd already run successfully: "I don't feel scared of starting. I just… one part of the thing is I want to do it right. So I'm saying — should I start one in August, and is that okay?"
Look at what she's actually doing there. She's asking permission. "Wanting to do it right" isn't diligence — it's the waiting, wearing a respectable coat. And Yvonne named where it was installed: "We weren't allowed… I don't ask questions because that is stuck in there."
Which means the thing you sell isn't clarity, and it isn't a script. It's permission they already have. God already put the person in front of them. That is your whole brand, and it happens to be the exact shape of their block. No marketer could invent this.
Three things only, like you wanted. Reads as being seen rather than being sold. The gold line is the CTA.
Source: Sharon [00:21] and the 7/15 workshop call [25:32] — "I want to do it right," said independently by two clients. Why it works: nobody writes this in copy because it doesn't sound like a pain point. That's exactly why it stops the scroll — it's the private thought, printed.
Sharper, more quotable, slightly more confronting. Better if you want it screenshot and shared.
Keeps your "without being weird" line, which is doing more work than you think — Tim's read was that it's simple and carries a lot, and the data agrees: five of your clients describe the ask as physically uncomfortable, not confusing.
The most on-brand of the three, and the softest. Leads with the promise instead of the pain.
Source: "should I start one in August, and is that okay?" — the permission-ask, verbatim. Also the cleanest handoff into your dragonfly story, since the whole story is God going first.
Keeps your opener (it works — leave it), keeps your emoji register, keeps the 💜 brand line. Swaps the two abstract questions for the real one, and puts a client's voice in before you say anything about yourself.
What changed and why: "Who should I be connecting with?" is out — that question does not appear once in 64 pain rows from your clients. Not one of them is confused about who. They're sitting on people they already have. Also: "$10K–$50K+ months" → "$10K+ months," because the numbers your clients actually name are "five, $10,000 a month," "under 5,000 — three clients," and "some money sooner rather than later." Let the case studies carry the ceiling; the headline shouldn't reach past the reader.
Your ✨ list has views and dollars. This one is the transformation, in a client's own mouth — and it's the exact thing you say you want for yourself.
Source: Women Supporting Women thread, 7/11, after her best conference ever. It's a delivered result, not a promise — which makes it the strongest proof on the page.
Two changes: the word "quiz" never appears — you're selling the result, not the format. And the last line before the arrow closes the loop the hook opened ("doesn't have to be perfect"), so the whole section is one thought instead of three.
Arrow points up to the featured section, so it works the moment you add the featured post. Never "start the quiz" — nobody wants to take a quiz, they want the result.
Your hook is already right — "What if the conversations that could change your business are already waiting for you?" Don't touch it. It's better than the banner line your AI gave you because it implies the thing is already there and they're just not seeing it. That opens a loop the whole talk can hang on. Everything below is structure around it.
| When | What you're doing |
|---|---|
| 0:00–2:00 | Hook, then the loopOpen on "What if the conversations that could change your business are already waiting for you?" Then promise the specific landing: "By the end of this, you'll have one name on your heart, one message ready to send, and you'll know exactly why you're reaching out." That's your open loop and it's already written in your takeaways. |
| 2:00–4:00 | Seed the Supernatural Ability — early, not lateLink in the chat now, while attention is highest. Frame it as the result: "before we go further, find out how you're uniquely designed to connect, serve and sell — it takes two minutes and it'll change how the rest of this lands for you." Do not call it a quiz. |
| 4:00–15:00 | Takeaway 1 — the opportunities already in front of themThis is where a client quote will do more than any teaching point. Yvonne: "I haven't gotten any conversations." Then: "in my mind, I'm telling myself I don't." Let the room sit in that. Half of them are her. |
| 15:00–25:00 | Takeaway 2 — the shift that turns a conversation into a clientName the freeze out loud so nobody thinks it's just them: "at that point, my mind goes blank" · "I like clam up and then I don't know how to say it." Then teach the shift. This is your strongest teaching ground and you know it cold. |
| ~25:00 | THE OFFER — middle, not endYou said you'd make the offer in the middle. Do exactly that, and keep it short: this is what Supernatural Sales is, this is who it's for, here's how to talk to me. Then go straight back to teaching. The offer in the middle converts because they're still learning after it — you haven't ended on an ask. |
| 25:00–38:00 | Takeaways 3 & 4 — who, what to say, whenThen run the live activation. They get quiet, one person comes to mind, they write the message. Do not skip the writing. The whole talk is worth one sent message, and the ones who send it are the ones who book. |
| 38:00–43:00 | The close — make it stupid not to bookPromise the result you actually deliver, in your words: clarity and direction. Not a strategy audit, not a discovery call. "Get on a call with me and you'll leave knowing exactly what's next — that's what happens on these." Then the link. Don't reinvent this; it already works. |
| Last 60s | Second ask for the Supernatural Ability"And if you haven't found out how you're designed to sell yet — do that before you close this tab, then tell me what got revealed just for you." Two CTAs is fine when one is free and one is a conversation. |